You Have to Be Who You Are

It all started innocently enough. I was doing something around the house, and something reminded me of Russia — and then, as they say in the famous Russian novel by Ilf and Petrov*, "Ostap was carried away." One thought led to another, and before I knew it, I was lost in memories.

My husband's words came back to me, or maybe it was a quote from a movie: "You have to be who you are. Life is what you make out of it."

Many years ago, in what feels like another life, I was a good seamstress — no formal training, just an ordinary hand-operated sewing machine and a natural feel for it. I should have gone to sewing school, studied to become a fashion designer or at least a pattern maker. But my mother had other plans. In her view, once you finished high school, you went to work — preferably at the factory where she herself had worked for about 25 years. There was no room in that plan for three more years of school.

But I was never simple, and maybe not always smart either. Perhaps I should have just gone to that factory, made decent money, and gotten on with my life — at least I would have had some financial stability.

Too bad we didn't have the internet back in the 1980s. Things might have looked very different.

My life has not been easy — I can tell you that much. So many little choices, so many opportunities we wish had been given.

But as Russians say: "Despair is a sin."

So let's not despair, and let's not grieve over the past. It cannot be returned and it cannot be changed.

Despite everything — or perhaps because of everything — I have no real reason to complain. I live on the other side of the world, I speak a language that is not my own, and every single day I learn something new. That is not nothing. That is actually quite a lot.

As for sewing — it's complicated. Lately I find myself lacking both the adventurous spirit and the free time to create even the simplest garment. But I haven't given up.

Not yet. 😊

*Created by the legendary Soviet satirical writing duo Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov, Ostap Bender is the iconic, smooth-talking con artist and "Great Combinator" who navigates the absurdities of post-revolutionary Soviet society. His adventures fill two classic picaresque novels: The Twelve Chairs and The Little Golden Calf.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostap_Bender

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