A Conversation Across the Ocean

Today, thanks to the internet and advances in cell phone technology, I had a conversation with a friend.

My friend Olya lives in Gelendzhik, in southern Russia, on the Black Sea. I live in New Bedford, Massachusetts. Seven hours in differences in time and the entire Atlantic Ocean between us.

Because of the current circumstances, Olya has internet access only at home, not when she is outside. The stars have to align for us to talk. Luckily, today they did.

We talked about many things: recipes and workouts, menopause and hormones, children and grandchildren — my grandchildren, since she doesn't have hers yet.

And then, when we decided that I probably don’t sleep well because of hormones, she told me that she doesn’t sleep well because of the sirens warning about drone attacks. Lately, it has been happening almost every night.

She said something like: "We live close to the mountains, so we don't have drones flying directly above us — but we can see them flying closer to the sea."

Worried about my best friend's safety, I asked her: "Do you go to a bomb shelter when the sirens start?"

Olya’s answer was, “Lena! What are you talking about?! We don’t have bomb shelters!”

And then she said something that not many people can fully comprehend. She said: "We just close the windows tightly so we can't hear the sirens — and we sleep in our own beds."

There are Russians for you.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that Ukrainians, Palestinians, and people from other nations who have lived through war for a long time also become accustomed to sirens and adapt to the circumstances around them.

Here I am talking about adaptability (is there such a word?)

Russians — and I am one of them— get used to things. We accept. We adapt. We endure. We adjust. And we wait, hoping that eventually something will change for the better. It has been that way for generations.

I don't know.

I am tired. Tired of being afraid for my children, for my family members, for my friends. Tired of worrying about whether I will ever be able to go back and see my grandchildren in person.

The only thing I can do right now to ease my conscience is to help Ukrainians; and that is exactly why I cannot visit Russia as long as the current government remains in power.

P.S. Here is YouTube video with my voice👇

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYDm-2nyO14

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